Our curse relies on the miracle of transubstantiation. As the Catholic Church asks God to change the spiritual "substance" of the Communion bread and wine into the Body and Blood of Christ, so do we beseech God to inflict a less palatable miracle of transubstantiation on those whom we curse. Let the last three drops of every swallow of liquid they drink be transubstantiated into the urine of the Blind Chihuahua for as long as they live, or until they repent.
- Usama Bin Laden - for killing thousands in the name of his bastardization of Islam, and for convincing others to do likewise
- Kim Jong Il - for making nuclear weapons and missiles the only viable economic activities in North Korea
- Robert Mugabe - for starving Zimbabwe in the name of his personal amalgamation of Communism and Racism
- Clerics who teach that democracy and/or science is incompatible with their religion - for loving power and control more than truth
- Clerics who abuse their laity, whether physically, sexually, emotionally, or intellectually - for trading their relation to the Divine to do the work of its opposite
- Laity who abuse their clergy without just cause - for punishing a clerics who don't meet the demands of their dark side
- Anyone who persecutes people because of their ethnicity or religion - for dumbing down the definition of a human person to mean someone like themselves
- Faith-based organizations who lend aid and comfort to those attempting the destruction of other faith-based organizations, such as the World Council of Churches and the Presbyterian Church USA (PCUSA).