Things I have learned from my dog, Pongo

I emailed this to my sister after a particularly outrageous afternoon with our dogs. She emailed it all over the world. So, if you're wondering where this came from, here it is. It is posted here to impress people that dog ownership is not for finiky people, neatness nuts, or those who are easily grossed out.

Dear Sis,

Things I have learned from my dog, Pongo:

1. Chewing open unripe walnuts turns your vomit bright yellow.
2. Eating turds makes your vomit really stink.
3. Eating turds and unripe walnuts turns your vomit brownish yellow, and makes it really stink, too.
4. Vomiting unripe walnuts and turds on the carpet makes your owners throw you out. They scream, throw open all the windows in 100 degree heat, and do something they call, "decontamination."
5. Once you vomit unripe walnuts and turds on the carpet, your owners never forget. Forever after, every time they hear you hork, they scream and give you the bum's rush out the back door.
6. Your owners appreciate unripe walnut turd vomit on the back deck only marginally more than unripe walnut turd vomit on the carpet in the house.

Pongo has no idea where we would really like him to vomit unripe walnuts and turds. We are working on this.

Gotta go. Time to pick up unripe walnuts and turds from the back yard. We are going out to dinner, and we don't want Pongo to be nauseous when we come back.

Love,

Me