Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Does Not Exist

One wonders what to do about Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who is widely rumored to be President of Iran. Recently he is reported to have denied the Holocaust, and in so doing, to have claimed that those who acknowledge the Holocaust (or Shoah in Hebrew) are idolaters, because, in his words, "they hold it higher than God himself, religion itself and the prophets themselves."

It is useless to point out that the Holocaust is better documented than God, religion, and the prophets (we have photographs of the Holocaust, for example). It is useless to point out that there are still living human witnesses to the Holocaust (both victims and perpetrators), while there are no such witnesses to the prophets. Why is this so? Because we humans don't usually dig out the facts for ourselves on every subject of controversy. We make an estimate as to the believability of a truth-claim, and then move on, because we just don't have the time. A short-cut to that estimate is to see if someone you trust and respect as an authority accepts that truth-claim. It is this particular short-cut that dominates traditional societies. So much does it dominate, that a buddy of mine models the spreading of opinion in such societies as a "one-shot Nash demand game" in which the status of one party relative to another determines the direction and likelihood of belief-propagation.

Thus, presenting evidence of the Holocaust won't sway Mahmoud, or his co-believers. Neither I, nor anyone who is not a high-ranking Iranian mullah, have the required status to convince. So, the Virtual Church of the Blind Chihuahua is left with one alternative: we must realize that the evidence for the Holocaust is just as compelling as the evidence for Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, himself. In other words, by the standard of evidence prevalent in Iran ...

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad does not exist.

I know that this may be hard to accept, but consider that Ahmadinejad, by promulgating a lie (i.e., that the Holocaust didn't happen) brings discredit to his professed religion of Islam. After all, if he should believe such a lie, and teach others to believe it, then one cannot be absolutely sure that he has embraced Islam out of a desire for and knowledge of truth. Therefore, who would have it in their interest for such a man to exist and to be President of Iran? The Jews!

Yes, once again, those super-clever, super-subtle super-beings have duped the Islamic World. The thing known as Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is not a human, but a Golem! Essentially a Golem is a robot, which is created by, and serves the will of its Jewish master. And we know the Jews can make Golems, because their own literature says they can. In this case, it is clear that the Ahmadinejad Golem has been made by Israel's super-secret Mossad in order to goad the United States into striking against Iran (which would threaten its nuclear energy/weapons complex and its glorious Revolution), and to discredit its Islam.

O People of Iran, you are in peril! Awaken to the danger! Unmask this impostor and be free!